Reminiscent Butterfly
by Kaita Kitsune
Summary: “My wish…is for you to go on existing; that is all I want…” Her last words to him...Short One Shot about Watanuki after the events in Chapter 181 and 182 Contains Spoilers.


"_My wish…is for you to go on existing; that is all I want…"_

Autumn leaves fell from the trees, and the breeze blew them to distant places. It wasn't the same without her, time passed and seasons came and went but nothing seemed to be right without her there. The shop was gone, Mokona, Moro, Maru and even all of the spirits he had so willingly helped, but she was the one he wanted back the most. He had moved on to the best of his ability as many do after the death of a loved one, but the emptiness of her being gone was still there. He had nowhere to go after school, no one to work for on the weekends or in the summer. He longed for the near death experiences he had gone through to simply fulfill her needs though he wouldn't admit it if she was alive.

He sat down on a bench and sat his bag down next to him as he began watching the sunset. Memories filled his mind when he had a moment to think. He remembered the small pipe fox he affectionately named Mugetsu popping out of nowhere and snuggling his neck while he was sitting. He remembered Mokona running around going on and on about wanting sake and snacks. Nothing…nothing at all was the same, the life he lived before he never realized he would have such a strong desire to relive it. His mind wandered to the day he said goodbye to her, begging her to stay.

"_If you're not here…if you're gone…Yuuko-san…Yuuko-san…Please…please tell me this is just a dream…" he pleaded tears rolling down his face as he watched her being consumed by darkness. Despite the expression of sorrow and sympathy on her face she had a small smile. _

"_I won't lie to you Watanuki…because you are very precious to me," she said to him trying to comfort him in the only way possible, which was her words and even she her self said that words were the only chain that humans could wield in the immense amount the bound our lives. He was soon able to move again and tried to hurry to her as fast as he could be it was no use._

"_There has to be some way! I'm talking to you…you're right here, there just has to be a way…" she noticed he pain in his voice and her expression changed once more. Her small smile faded into a face of pure sorrow and regret. Knowing she was leaving someone she held dear but she also knew she had been dead since before that someone was born. _

"_Watanuki…" her voice was quiet._

"_You...can't...die…" his begging continued and he only hoped those simple words would stop her from leaving him._

"_I would very much like to grant that wish for you…" she began "but that…I cannot do." He stood their and stared at her not knowing what to say. Knowing she was going to grant his original wish of never seeing spirits again there had to be something he could do._

"_I..I still haven't granted it…your wish…I promised that I'd grant it…I promised," he remembered his promise to her and she slightly smiled._

"_My wish…is for you to go on existing; that is all I want…but Watanuki remember…No matter how unimportant our meeting was... how small the outcome may end up... it will have some later effect on you. It can be the smallest of things. It can be the shortest of moments. It may never be remembered. It may have never been recorded. A bond of fate never disappears once tied," _

"_Then I promise I will grant that wish!" he exclaimed, and with that, she was gone, "if dreams can come true by wishing hard enough I want to meet you again, so…I'm going to stay right here in the shop, Yuuko-san and wait as long as it takes for you to come back…as long s it takes…"_

Staying in the shop and waiting for her wasn't an option he soon learned, for the shop was gone, it was an empty lot, as though there was never a shop there in the first place. As though the memories made there were simply all a dream, as though all the times Watanuki had found himself at death's door were simply illusions. He looked at the pink and orange sky and sighed knowing he should get going before it got dark, even though the spirits he was once haunted by would no longer bother him. He wished he never made that wish in the first place. Seeing the spirits and helping them showed him a while part of the world he had never seen before, a part so like his own that he had wondered why he was terrified of it to begin with, now he yearned for that curse to be back.

As he stood up to leave something caught him off guard and he fell back on the bench. It was a purple butterfly. It flitted and floated around him and it reminded him of Yuuko. Her signature creature was the butterfly as well as her color being purple. He put his hand out and it landed on his hand. A butterfly in fall was uncommon, if they could even be born in fall. It sat on his hand not moving as though it were comfortable and could stay like that for hours.

"You're one strange butterfly, its autumn, aren't all of your friends and family gone? You remind me of someone, someone close to me I lost not too long ago…oh great I'm talking to a butterfly, a purple one in fall, I've really lost it," he said to the butterfly who opened and closed its wings in a steady pace. "Go on now, fly away, it's going to get cold soon," he lifted his hand and it hesitated but soon flew away. As he watched it fly off he remembered the last few words Yuuko said to him.

"_No matter how unimportant our meeting was... how small the outcome may end up... it will have some later effect on you. It can be the smallest of things. It can be the shortest of moments. It may never be remembered. It may have never been recorded. A bond of fate never disappears once tied,"_

"Yuuko-san…I guess you're right… there is no coincidence in this world, only hitsuzen," he picked up his bag and began to walk off, smiling a tiny bit, knowing deep down that that one moment was not the only one he would have that proved his bond with Yuuko would forever be there.

* * *

I'm in a pretty upset mood tonight and thought I would write a emo little fanfiction to the latest chapters of xxxHOLiC. I wrote it to the song "Your Guardian Angel" by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I took a lot of the text from chapter 182 and added it in here with more detail and such but I also added a few of my own words.

I cried when Yuuko died, she was my favorite character ever. She reminds me of a close friend who I love so much that it was hard to see Yuuko die and Watanuki's reaction was horrible too, he cried the whole chapter so I ended up in tears.

So yes this was my story...enjoy

I do not own xxxHOLiC any of the characters of anything, they all belong to CLAMP, I do however own this story...if that makes any sense XD


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